The courage of Chely Wright

From MSNBC:


Country singer Chely Wright  finally decided to "come out" recently because she could not live with the lie any longer. She was gay, felt that she always had been, and the fact that she had to "hide" it was about to kill her--.literally.


Listen to what she has to say:


"“Country music is typically known to be conservative,” she said. “Our fan base is conservative; pretty much our industry, the people who run it, have conservative beliefs, and it’s widely known to be about God and country and family. For some reason, people don’t think that can coexist with being a homosexual.”


God, country and family. She is so right in that so many people believe that you cannot have a relationship with God, fight for your country or have a real family  if you dare to love someone of the same sex. It's a lie of course but one that seems to be perpetuated everywhere. Like Chely,  I believe it's time to stand up courageously and be exactly who you are.  The fact that this beautiful lady almost killed herself over the lies she had to tell is heart-breaking!


Folks, have the courage to be who you are. Be that person that no one else believes you can be. Show them that you cherish your family, your relationship with God and also your country. Dare to be different but do it in a way that let's others know that we really aren't so different after all.  The heart and soul knows no gender.
We fall in love with whoever our heart leads us to. Be it male or female, we are still all just people deep down inside.


Chely, you may never read this but I applaud you for your tremendous courage. It's harder in your profession than most, yet you walked through the storm to the TRUTH. I applaud your honesty and your ability to say "No More" to the lies people wanted you to tell. You go girl! One by one may we all follow in your footsteps..


Read more about Chely Wright on MSNBC

Johnny Cash

"See there's this place in me where your fingerprints still rest, your kisses still linger, and your whispers softly echo. It's the place where a part of you will forever be a part of me." --Gretchen Kemp

 

As I read this quote on Facebook this morning I couldn't help but be reminded of a book I just read recently. It is a book by Johnny Cash's first wife Vivian and it is called "I Walked The Line."  In case you don't know, Vivian was not only Johnny Cash's first wife but also mother to his four girls, Rosanne, Tara, Cindy and Kathy. This quote from Gretchen Kemp reminded me of the book because Vivian Cash evidently never got over her "Johnny" and he was with her until the day she died. Or he was in her heart anyway. No doubt, she was totally in love with him.

 

I have to say that reading this book completely changed my mind about a lot of things I had heard about Johnny Cash in the past, and his second wife June Carter as well. Vivian tells the story of a descent into hell via drugs and alcohol--something that he never wanted to enter he and Vivian's lives and relationship. In the book, Vivian gives you a rare glimpse into the man that was Johnny Cash BEFORE the fame entered the picture, via his own letters to her, written during the three years he was stationed in Germany. Through these letters, we see a very conservative man who wanted nothing more than to live "right" and raise a family--a big family with Vivian.

 

The book was interesting to me because I had of course seen the movie, "I Walk The Line" in which the viewer is led on a journey of Cash's life as he becomes famous. Little is shown of Vivian except during the time the marriage was coming apart. The movie tends to focus on the "love story" of Johnny and June Carter and how happy they were together. I have to admit that even watching the movie, I felt terrible for Vivian. Obviously the woman had gotten the dirty part of the deal. Left at home with small children to raise and a husband who was fast becoming addicted to "uppers" and "downers", she finally had no choice but to file for a divorce. Johnny Cash simply wasn't coming home--AND he was starting an open relationship with June Carter who would soon become his second wife. Where is the justice in that??

 

I'm guess I a tender heart for those women (or men) who have been "done wrong" in life by a partner or spouse. Maybe because I was one of those women several years ago. I too was left at home with small children to raise while my husband ran off and had his "breakdown"..and his fun..

Infidelity to me is one of the worst blows you can ever deliver to another human being and in Vivian's book, I hear her pain and feel her sorrow. It's hard to understand why someone can't be brave enough to just end a relationship or marriage if they feel that they cannot be faithful to the one who they love or the one who loves them. Why hide how you feel? Be honest--tell the person and move on. It's not easy but at least it's HONEST. I think everyone deserves that.

 

I guess the hard part for me is to see through Vivian's book how devoted she was to her "Johnny" and how much she truly loved him. He loved her too as evidenced by his letters. The man simply felt that he could not live without her. There was no trouble between them either--they had common views and goals and they were a very devoted couple. I know that Johnny Cash became a different man as his drug abuse increased and as another woman entered the picture. Interestingly enough, Vivian's book points out that June Carter had her own drug problem. That's something that doesn't come out too often.

 

Of course Vivan's book is just that--it is HER side of the story and I realize that there are always two sides. Still, if you read the letters and hear what she has to say, she makes a pretty convincing case that the Johnny she knew was not the Johnny that he became.

 

People, let this be a lesson to us all. Love the person you are with. Don't let drugs,alcohol or another person take you away from someone you truly care about. Sure we all have problems but they can often be resolved with counseling or even by talking. (NOT fighting!) Now,I agree--some things CANNOT be fixed but if they truly cannot be, please be honest with the person who may be at home with no clue as to what you are feeling. Smaller, every day problems can be made worse too by things that we can absolutely control. No one makes another person take that first drug or have that first drink. And no one makes another seek the company of someone else when their husband or wife is waiting at home.

 

We all impact each others lives and I think this quote from Gretchen Kemp says it all. For Vivian who never fell out of love with her Johnny, there will always be a part of him in her and I'm sure, a part of her in him.

In Vivian's honor today, I am changing part of a post I made when I first started this blog. It is the post titled,"Are people born gay?" (July 2009). In it, I mention Johnny Cash and June Carter and their love. I have changed that to Johnny Cash and his wife Vivan. Read the letters and the book. That was a REAL love story. 

 

Now go out and embrace your own!

True

 

And the fight continues..

Sometimes change comes slowly..but it WILL come..

Groundbreaking gay marriage trial starts in California-AP

By LISA LEFF, Associated Press Writer Lisa Leff, Associated Press Writer – Mon Jan 11, 7:24 am ET

SAN FRANCISCO – The first federal trial to determine if the U.S. Constitution prohibits states from outlawing same-sex marriage gets under way Monday, and the two gay couples on whose behalf the case was brought will be among the first witnesses.
The proceedings, which are expected to last two to three weeks, involve a challenge to Proposition 8, the gay marriage ban approved by California voters in November 2008.
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