Lesbian Dating & Relationships: Spread the word to help repeal DOMA

Lesbian Dating & Relationships: Spread the word to help repeal DOMA

To Cry (The Healing Garden)

I'm going to write about something today that affects not just people in same-sex relationships but all people, and that is, sadness.

After giving it some thought, I have decided to add a new element to my blog. It is called "The Healing Garden".  A real healing garden, sometimes found in hospitals  is a place that you can go to relax, destress and of course, heal. Not to mention, pray.

Because I started this blog as a way to help other same-sex couples with things they may struggling with (but not talking about), I feel that the Healing Garden is appropriate. It is for everyone, regardless of your identity or sexual orientation. I hope that if you have found this that it will in some way comfort you on your journey in this life. It is healing for me to write this and I pray that it will be just as healing for you to read it.


I wanted to talk about the ability to be able to cry.  That may seem like a strange thing to say but it's something that "Heart" and I have talked about recently. In this post,  I am going to write some personal things about myself and will let "Heart" join in as she wishes. My hope, as I said, is that it will help someone else-whoever you are that may be reading this. I really feel that it is something worth talking about.

Emotions are funny things--we all have them--and to some degree we are all ruled by them. Not that we WANT or SHOULD be totally ruled by emotion, but we are human after all and sometimes our emotions can run away from us.

Not only can they run away from us but our emotions can be stuffed down inside of us or cause us to do things to ourselves that are not in any way healthy.

Right now, I want to talk about the emotion called sadness because it goes right along with hurt and pain and that is something that all of us have in one way or another.

I was telling "Heart" last night that I was so thankful that I could actually cry these days in my adult life. And I mean it--I am very thankful that I can now cry when I am sad.  Because there was a time that I could NOT and I didn't know what I should do with all the sadness that I had inside.

You see, as a small child, when I cried, I was comforted and loved by the grown-ups around me. But as I grew up a little bit, I learned, through watching the members of my family that crying really wasn't how you dealt with your sadness. No, in my family, you didn't cry--you remained tough and stoic and seem to live pretty much without feeling.
Of course I realize now that although this was very unhealthy that it was a coping mechanism, although not a very good one I'll admit. It allowed my family to move on with some very difficult things that came into our lives. And we did have rough times-right from the start.

Even though I was never told that I could not cry as a child (as I have seen some children told), I was shown by example that you did not handle your sadness that way. And unfortunately I was also shown( by some members of my family) that anger was the emotion to have and express. Consequently, I grew up into a very angry young teenager--full of hurt and pain. Even though I had that pain, I was not able to express it. So it boiled like a volcano deep down inside. me

I was such an angry young person that I'm sure no one knew what to do with me. If you knew me back then, I'm sure that I don't have to tell you. I was angry and I wanted to be angry. It was the only thing that felt right and safe. It was the only thing I knew to do with my feelings at all.

Amazingly, the thing that put a stop to all of my anger at age 21, was having children. Because one of my own parents-my father--had been very rageful, I decided that I did not want my children to grow up like I had. I identified  my bad temper when they were very young and made a concentrated effort to stop doing what my father had done to me. His anger had scared me as a very small child and then made ME angry as a young person. I didn't understand what drove his anger at the time. All knew was that I was the target of his anger (verbally and emotionally--he never hit me..) and that it made me angry and hurt.  I didn't want my children to be grow up this way or be afraid of me. So I stopped losing my temper with them..

Unfortunately though, my pain and hurt inside did not go away. I continued to be a very angry person with the man I was married to at the time. This is a big regret of mine, not because I think our marriage could have been saved (I don't), but because I don't feel that he deserved to be the target of all MY anger. Again though, I did not know another way..

So what happens to anger, pain, hurt and sadness when you push it down inside yourself? What happened to me was that I became depressed (anger turned inward) and depression turned to emotional eating. So although I wasn't outwardly angry and loud anymore, I was still doing something destructive to myself.I was eating my way to some very bad health although it would take several years for me to realize that-or care.. Part of my emotional eating WAS anger. I was angry at people in my family (and outside my family) that made fun of anyone who was not like them, ie, THIN. I had battled my weight since age 11 and had actually become anorexic during my very early teen years. It wasn't diagnosed in me at that time because I was never taken to a doctor. But it WAS anorexia and I starved myself right up until the time I had my first child.

Fast forward to 2002-the year I met "Heart". I was still emotionally eating--comforting myself from whatever problems I had (and I had some big ones at the time) with food. I figured that if everything else in my life was wrong, at least I could enjoy eating. And I felt that I was rebelling against all those people who were so judgmental of anyone with a weight problem.
I just decided that I didn't care what they thought or said and that it was just too bad if they didn't like me. Thankfully I have to say that some self-love came from my destructiveness at that time and I did learn to love myself no matter how much or how little I weighed. Honestly, before that, I had only felt truly good about myself as a thin person. I think now that I was hoping for love and acceptance from the very people who judged me or anyone who was overweight. So I starved myself-- at least at first..

So when I met Heart, I was now doing the opposite thing and eating to comfort myself from whatever was bothering me inside. And keep in mind that I still did not cry. I couldn't. I was a mom with three children. Their dad had abandoned us when our 3rd child was only months old. I was both father and mother to them and had to be "strong". At least that's how I looked at it. I didn't want to burden them or cause them to be afraid. After all, mommies just don't fall apart..
I wonder sometimes if that's how my own mother and grandmother felt during the time I was growing up.

When "Heart" came into my life,  I was eating away--still not happy--but somehow comforted by the food that I ate.  I remember that "Heart" could not at first understand my lack of trust in other  people. And although she could see that I hurting inside, she also knew that I held everything IN . In fact, I pushed any close relationships (other than my children) away. At the time, I figured it was a good way to keep from being hurt and I pushed "Heart" away from me right from the start.

I won't go into all the details but I have to say that during this time, one of the best things she ("Heart") ever did for me was to tell me that it was ok to have emotions. And that it was ok to love and to trust. I didn't believe her of course but I listened, and part of me must have heard.


On July 6, 2004, after my dad suffered his second early heart attack, I made a decision to change my diet and my life and lose weight. I had gone to two doctor's appointments and they said to me, "You are pre-hypertensive and we think you may need to go on some medication for it." Because my blood pressure had always been perfect in the past, what the doctor said really scared me. I knew that I did not want to take any medication ever so I decided to change my life and my diet . And I did. I started that day to eat a very low-fat diet and at the same time, I changed some of my thinking. Whereas I had tried to lose weight before and could not, now the weight was pouring off. Over a year's time, I lost 40 lbs.
I went from a size 16 (had been an 18 before I met "Heart") to an almost size 8) It was quite a victory for me and an emotional one as well.


You see,  in meeting "Heart", I met someone who loved me just as I was. And just as I was was overweight.  Unlike the judgmental folks of my past, she told me that I was beautiful and that she loved me very much. I couldn't believe it! Finally someone who seemed to love me just for me.

I have to admit though that changing my thinking during this weight-loss was hard. So many times, I would have to pick up a candy bar and read the fat grams just to be able to say no. I would tell myself that being healthy was the MOST important thing and of course "Heart" encouraged me in this. She said she wanted me to be healthy and well.  It was for this very reason that I was able to lose any weight at all. Her unconditional love for me at that time is something I have thanked her for over and over.

So how does all this relate to emotions and crying? I'll tell you..
While I was emotionally eating, I did not have to feel anything. I could eat and feel comforted and all would be well. In a sense, it was like the comfort of being so angry as a teenager. It helped me cope and I could go on with life. But the emotional eating, just like the anger, was destroying me. One thing was destroying my emotional/spiritual self and the other was destroying my physical health.

So many times during the time I was losing weight, I would feel "hungry" when I knew that I could not be. I had just eaten and there was no way I was really hungry. But I WAS hungry in another way...
It wasn't a hunger for food but for love. And for a way to deal with all the hurt and pain that I felt all the time..
And I'll be honest with you too..sometimes as I stood in front of the pantry or refrigerator and asked myself, "Ok..what do you REALLY feel/want?" Lots of times, the answer would be: rest. I was tired, but I didn't know how to deal with that. So I ate then too. Believe it or not I had to actually learn to go to bed and let myself rest. My inclination was to pack as much into the day as I could. I guess I just didn't want it to end for some reason.

And during this time, not only did I learn to rest but I learned to cry as well. I slowly began to let myself feel things that I had not felt in a long time.. Many times it was through talking to "Heart" about things that I had never talked to anyone about that made me cry. And she would hold me and try to comfort me.


Many times too, it was also because she and I fought and I allowed myself to feel those feelings. Even though it was hard (and I did still resort to anger sometimes), I slowly became able to feel pain and hurt and realize that it was ok.

When you are hurting so much, you think that if you start to cry that you may never stop. I felt like this and sometimes I cried for a LONG, LONG time. But eventually I did stop and amazingly afterward, I felt better. I felt better, not because the situation was any different, but because I had released my pain and in the process, I was healing.

I cannot say that today I have "arrived" and that I am totally healed from all my hurts and pain. But I will say that because I learned to cry and go through my pain, I am a much calmer, healthier person today. I still battle the weight issue sometimes but I am less likely to emotionally eat these day.
That truly is a blessing...

I want you to know that I am so thankful today that I learned to cry-even as a woman in my early 40s--.to let things out and to be human. We are human, after all and we are not made to keep all our pain inside. Of course there are appropriate times and places for the proper release of emotion. Hopefully it is with someone you love and trust. Someone that will love you and hold you.

For me, that person was "Heart" and I am deeply grateful for the healing help that she has given me.

I long to give that to her too and I hope that we can continue to give it to each other.

If you are reading this today-wherever you are-and you have anger, pain or hurt, know that you are not alone. There is help and there is a healthy way to express what you feel inside.

If you don't have someone you can trust to be with you when you cry, then please go to a therapist and tell them what you need. There are people out there who care and who can help. And I am always here too. You can e-mail me and pour some pain out to me--even anonymously. Nothing you ever say will be shared or told. I just want you to know that I am here at least by e-mail and that it's ok to cry.

I'm sure you are wondering why I chose to post something on this subject today. All I can say that sometimes when you are hurting, you come to realize that there are certain ways you have grown and certain things you can be thankful for. Today I am thankful that I can cry when I need to.
Because there was certainly a time that I couldn't..

 Take care of yourselves in every way and each other too. And if you need to, have yourself a good cry. I promise you that it's therapeutics and that there is no better old fashioned medicine..
.
Except maybe to laugh--and you will do that too.

The sun comes out after the rain..

May your sun come out today.

With love,
True.

PMS

Tonight, I thought I would blog about the pros and cons of being in a same-sex relationship.

Pros:
See most of my previous posts

Cons:
1. PMS!

I HATE PMS. I hate to have it and I hate to see someone else experience it. It's just a miserable situation and there's nothing that will cure it except lots of chocolate and maybe a few frequent trips to Burger King (I'll have 10 Whoppers (Super-size me!) with cheese please..and don't forget the fries..). At least that's the way it is for us anyway. Can I get an Amen out there?

PMS stinks and PMS in tandem DOUBLE stinks! Have you ever noticed that women who spend time together seem to get on the same "hormonal" cycle? It happens, and I've even seen it with women who work together every day. I have no clue as to why our bodies think that is such a great idea. It's not! You do not want to have two women with PMS stuck inside together when it rains. Like it is right now..

Yes, PMS is most definitely one of the cons..
But at least you don't have to worry about birth control..ha!
And you do get to eat lots of chocolate together..

If you don't kill each other..

With that said, let me say I love "Heart" with all of my heart.
But God, please let this hormonal time for both of us pass--FAST!

Goodnight! ;)
True
PS..And never try to hang mini-blinds while you are feeling hormonal. No matter how much you liked the blinds, they just don't look the same after!

TV's Newlywed Game To Host First Gay Couple

Check it out..

"Even as states and jurisdictions made gay and lesbian marriages legal, "The Newlywed Game" has played it straight _ until now.
The long-running game show, now on the GSN cable network, said Wednesday it will feature its first gay couple this season on a celebrity edition. George Takei, who played Mr. Sulu on "Star Trek," will appear with his partner, Brad Altman."

Read the rest of the article here

Turtles (the plastic kind)

If you have ever been to our house, you will know that we keep two small plastic turtles by our bathroom sink. Specifically, we keep them in the guest bathroom, which is decorated in a very beachy/ocean theme. They sit by our sea shells--some of which we picked up as we walked along the shore. Why, you may ask, do we keep plastic turtles by our bathroom sink?

Let me tell you..

I found them in 2004 on a beach in Nags Head N.C.  It was right after I had left my home in the south to be with "Heart" in the north. Things at that time were pretty stressful so she decided that we needed a vacation together. And since our very favorite place on earth has always been the beach (any beach), she took me to Nags Head.

I'd never been to this part of the coast and I remember that it was very beautiful, although at the time I was so troubled that I'm sure I barely noticed. It seems that "Heart" was having doubts and fears about leaving her home state and taking a job in the south. As we walked along the beach and talked she told me that she was thinking of not going after all. That she wasn't sure she could leave "home" and everything she had ever known. Just like me, she had never (for any amount of time) lived out of state and I know now that she was scared and probably a little bit confused.

I remember being upset by everything she said.  Climbing up onto a tall wooden lifeguard's chair, I looked out at the ocean and wondered what was going to happen to us. I had left my home in the south to come to be with her. Together we were experiencing her divorce and the loss of a job she had had for 15+ years. We knew that she had a new job lining up down south and had agreed to live there together. But now fear and uncertainty had her in its grip and she wasn't sure which way to turn.

As we walked along feeling miserable and blue, I happen to look down and see something half buried in the sand. It was several small plastic toys, undoubtedly left by some little boy or girl during that golden summer day. Two of the toys were turtles--one green and one orange. Not my favorite colors by any means, but for some reason I took the two turtles with me and left the other toy behind.

Later, I remembered something that I had read in a magazine (Guidepost?) several years before. It was a story about a couple who kept two small toy dogs in their kitchen window. The toys were magnetized and faced each other all of the time. The only time they did NOT face each other was when the two people were arguing or not getting along. Then they were moved apart and faced away from the other. The interesting thing though was that the way that the couple knew that they were forgiven by the other was that one would again face the toy dogs toward each other. It was then and only then that they knew that they had made up and that they were a couple again.

When we returned home from our trip, I took the two tiny turtles out of our bag and looked at them thinking of the story. I decided to put them in our guest bathroom beside some seashells that we had placed by the sink. I told Heart about the story and said that I was going to put the turtles there facing each other. She smiled, humoring me I'm sure, but she never moved the turtles.


Today, five years later, we live down south and our guest bathroom still has it's beachy theme.  And beside the sink sit the turtles, still facing each other, their noses touching, as if they are about to kiss. I have kept them that way all this time and if anything disturbs their position, I immediately put them back together again. Maybe it's superstitious of me, but somehow I feel that as long as they touch, that we can never be apart.

Sometimes during the very worst, most uncertain times in our lives, God gives us a sign or a comfort. Most of the time it comes when you least expect it..

I like to think of the two plastic turtles as a gift from our Father in heaven who loves us. Walking along the beach that evening I had no idea what the future would hold, but God certainly did. Perhaps he meant for me to find the turtles so that I would remember the story of the dogs in the window. And that by remembering, I would have faith--faith in that what God meant for our good would come about--and would surmount all fear and confusion.  It would lead us to a better place not only in our lives but also in our hearts..


So thank you God for the plastic turtles that you place in our path. Every day they remind me that you are still with me and that no matter what, our love will survive.

Patsy was the reason

September 8

I thought I would write a little something today about the late great Patsy Cline who would have been 77 years old today had she lived. Unfortunately she was killed in a terrible plane crash on evening of March 5, 1963 (the year that I was born) near Camden TN.  In case you didn't know, Patsy was returning home from a benefit concert that she had done to help the family of a DJ friend who had died. She was a little bit sick I've read, and probably extremely exhausted from being on the road so much. But she went, and sang her heart out as she did so many times. Sadly she did not return--to her own family-a husband and two tiny children-ages two and four.

I pay tribute to Patsy today for many reasons. One being that hers was one of the first voices my young ears ever heard. My grandmother (who is still going strong at 88) was a HUGE Patsy fan. Although she never saw her live and in person, she had all her records and played them constantly. I remember being very small and my grandmother rocking me to the sound of Patsy's mournful voice. I remember thinking that I didn't know what that lady was saying but she sure sounded sad! That was Patsy though--everything she felt came across in her voice and her music. No one can put that kind of emotion into a song to this day. Hers was an amazing voice and one you don't forget when you are privileged enough to hear it.

I pay tribute to Patsy today too for being one HELL of a tough lady. She was one of the early pioneers for the women of country music and that long road wasn't an easy one. Back then it was a man's world and women generally dressed in frilly dresses (Patsy said they looked like a "damn table cloth!) and sang whatever they were told.  Yes, men truly dominated the country music scene--that is until Patsy came along.

She blazed the trail for the many women singers who would come after her. True to her heart, she sang what she felt. Patsy was notoriously hard to get along with but really, she had to be.
She knew what she wanted and she knew how she wanted to sing it. By the time of her death in 1963, Patsy was the undisputed queen of country music, although it would be several more years before she would get that recognition.

Yes, Patsy was tough; she spoke her mind and did as she pleased. No one told her what to do and she lived her life that way that she wanted. That's one of the many reasons she is one of my "she-roes" today. I have to say, I really admire a woman who won't be pushed around..

I also pay tribute to Patsy today because it was she that brought my partner "Heart" and I together in late 2002. Amazing as it seems, I think that it must have been meant to be. Could Patsy have played a part in all this from beyond? Sometimes I think so. She has always been in my life in one way or another and she seems to fill the role of "angel" in many of her fans lives every day. Who's to say that she isn't still with us, watching over us and doing good? I like to think of her as one of my guardian angels and I know several other people who feel the same way.

Here is how she brought "Heart" into my life:

Way back in August of 2002 a friend and acquaintance of mine announced that she was putting a new message board on her long running (and very popular) Patsy Cline website. Since I visited her site quite a lot in those days, I decided to check it out. Quickly, it became a fun place to hang out and chat and I met several other Patsy fans that remain very good friends today.

About this same time, "Heart" who lived many states away from me decided to visit the site and message board too, although she says that she had never spent much time on the internet up until that point. It seems that she had "rediscovered" Patsy Cline not too long before and Patsy and her music had literally changed her life. (I'll have to get her write her story here--you won't believe it!)

She was online searching for sites about Patsy when she came upon the very same web site that I had been visiting for several years. It wasn't long until we were talking like old friends and actually met each other for the first time in Nashville TN. There we visited a hotel together that happened to be hosting a showing of some of Patsy's clothes that were up for auction. Amazingly, the clothes were not behind glass either--oh no--they were hanging in this hotel room--on curtain rods and shower curtains and all you had to do was go in and see them. Being the fans that we were, we touched everything and I even remember "Heart" trying on Patsy's very long and beautiful evening gloves. It was an amazing moment for two big Patsy fans (as well as the friends who were with us) and it was the beginning of a beautiful relationship that neither one of saw coming..

As I've said many times, before I met "Heart" I had never given any thought to being in love with another woman before. Never--not in my entire life.  To me, it was all quite a surprise when it happened although it turned out to be a very nice surprise. We fell in love that day in Nashville and it was  definitely because Patsy led us there.   Of course, there are many more details to this story  but for now I will leave you with this short version. I don't want to bore you with too much "Loose Talk"..  :)

It has been said many times that Patsy Cline had a heart of gold. She loved other folks and was always ready to lend a helping hand. I think that perhaps wherever she is today, she is still opening her heart and giving that love to others. It wouldn't surprise me at all and I like to believe that she is still around.

She is the reason that I met the love of my life and she is also the reason that I still listen to love songs today.

So thank you Patsy..not just for your music or for sharing your lovely voice with us, but also for bringing two people together that might not have otherwise found each other.

And by the way, if you haven't listened to any Patsy Cline songs lately, go and do so immediately.
I promise you that you will not be disappointed.

Here's Patsy at her best..not too long before she left us:

"I Fall To Pieces"

God Bless you Patsy! We love you!

My First Blog-Ever!!

Well, can't let True have all the fun, can I? This is the very first time I have blogged in my entire life, and I'm thrilled.

First, thanks to my loving partner True for setting this up and getting it started. I admit, I've been pretty lax in not contributing, but have read her blogs, and sometimes feel that they are so good, that I have nothing to add. On top of that, I'm usually busy as hell between work and grad school, so that doesn't help much (plus the fact that I've got two farms to tend on Facebook!).

Anyway, I felt that it was time to finally contribute to this. I read True's blog yesterday about me, and it honestly made me cry.. I'm not gonna get all mushy here, but really must say how much those words meant to me, and that we truly love each other very much.

I have had a wonderful time being a second mommy to the kids; especially the youngest, since he's been around much more, and we, for some reason, instantly bonded. He is now a fine young man, and I am deeply proud of him.

This whole discussion about family in the many forms that they take has prompted me to take a moment to totally bitch about something that really pisses me off--weren't expecting that segue, were you??

Last month, True and I went back to my home town for my darling nephew and godson's 3rd birthday party. It was a blast, except for 2 really irritating things:

1. My sister (mom of the darling boy) is married to an A-1, prime asshole who would not allow us to stay at the house because we might confuse the 3 year old. Get this-- I'm welcome to stay at the house when I come alone, but not when True is with me--guess I turn into a lesbian or something when she's with me, go figure..

2. My brother, who I love dearly, has decided to join the asshole brigade by making it clear that he does not like my relationship with True--can I hear a "Tough Shit" from the audience, please?

Well, let me deal with problem #1 first. The brother-in-law is a complete twit and while he is busy ponitificating about my immorality, he is busy improving his mind and spirit with such high-brow shows as Family Guy and South Park. He doesn't have the intellect, drive, or gumption to find his own ass with both hands and a flashlight, so I'll stay in a hotel, but I can guarentee ya that if he ever comes down to my neck of the woods, he can't even come in the house to use the bathroom. I don't care if he is suffering from the worst case of the shits from dysentery, he can shit his pants for all I care...

As for #2, I have no idea what the hell my brother's problem is. True has done nothing to him but be polite, by dear brother makes a point of absolutely ignoring True and making us both feel like shit. I don't care that his wife is neurotic (although very sweet and lovable), I don't really think it's any of my damned business. My brother is a successful, driven, and good guy in general, so this pompous attitude is really bringing me down.

So, let's take a look at 1 & 2 together now. They are polar opposites in terms of intellect, personality, and spousal skills, but what do they have in common?

Simple: They are both being judgemental, close-minded and are meddling into our lives.
This lack of ability to mind their own damned business is the crux of the problem. I do not judge them on their choices, actions, or shortcomings. I have always met them with open arms, even when I disagree with them. I have never shunned them, never treated them as second class citizens even when they've acted like first class asshats.
I just wish that I could get the same treatment. I was married for 13 years before my being with True, and yes, it is a same sex relationship, but I'm still the same person! Still the same sister and sister in law who loved, cared, supported, and was always there for these 2 guys, and somehow, I'm now less-than to them.

This really hurts, and what hurts worse is that True gets the same shitty deal that I do from these guys. How would they like it if I reacted to everything that they did that put my panties in a twist? Why the hell is it that they are justified in treating us like shit for the crime of being in a loving, committed relationship?

I struggle with how to deal with them. For the brother in law, it's easier, I just ignore his fat ass, but I happen to really dig my brother, and hate that this is going on. I imagine that a confrontation would get us nowhere, so I may just suggest some heavy therapy for him.

In the meantime, I will go on loving my partner, and living my life. I love her, my friends, and my family, and treat others as I want to be treated.

If that is wrong, then there ain't much I can do 'bout it, is there?

A request

If you are visiting my site, would you please leave a comment to just to say hello and let me know where you are visiting from? I do have a site tracker but don't really like those things.

I always wonder who is reading. Everyone is so quiet! :)

Hope you guys have a GREAT Labor Day weekend!

True

Because you have dimples..

I'm back!  I thought I would start off with this today..

I asked my partner "Heart" today if she loved me and of course she said "Yes!" (I know that she does but I like to hear her say it.)  I then asked her, "Why do you love me?" 

She said it was because I had dimples. 

That and the fact that she liked to feel my bare butt backed up to hers at night. (ok..she didn't say butt, she said ass)

Then she said it was because I was soft..mmm...

But she ended with.."I love you because you are my baby and I just love you.."

Now that's the kind of answer I wanted to hear.

Now, let me tell you now why I love HER..

I love her because not only is she beautiful but because she is a beautiful person on the inside too. (Notice that I did not say that she is a PERFECT person but she is a beautiful person. No one is perfect--I certainly am not-)

I love her because she has such a good heart and she uses that heart for good so much of the time.

Case in point--last Friday we moved my youngest son, age 19, into his new dorm at college. It took my car and her SUV to do it but we managed to get all his stuff over there in just one trip. Thursday night after work, Heart came home and helped us load everything up. The next day, she drove her truck over and helped us UNLOAD everything and carry it into his new room. (Thank God it was on the 1st floor this time and we didn't have to climb stairs this time!) Then we went to the local Wal-mart where she proceeded to buy him some of the things that he needed and we had forgotten. She helped us unpack his stuff, set up his room and get him all settled in. Then she handed him $$$ on our way out just to make sure that he would be ok until his meal plan kicked in.

Did I mention that she took us out to P.F. Chang's a few nights before as a "going away" dinner?

The best part is, I know that she did it all because she loves me.

You see, Heart has not always known my children. She came into their lives when my youngest was 12 going on 13. She has never had children of her own and it must have been weird for her to suddenly have someone else's children in her life in a big way. This youngest child of mine adored her from the start and she loved him right back. I have seen her help him choose (and buy) school clothes, pitch in money for a tux (proms) and feed him like he was her own child. She has helped house him, clothe him, feed him and encourage him in his educational pursuits. In short, she has done everything a parent would do including hugging and kissing him goodnight.

Oh yeah and she ironed his clothes before school every morning when I would not. I said he was old enough to do it for himself. She just smiled and did it anyway..

So why do I love the one that I am with? The above is only one of the many reasons. I love her because she is who she is. A kind loving person who has seen fit to take not only me into her heart but my child as well. I should say CHILDREN, not child, because she has done so many nice things for my other two boys too.

Love comes in all kinds of different ways in our life and one of the best things that another person can do is love their partner's children. Your children are, after all, a huge part of yourself. When she loves my children, she is in effect, again loving ME.

Who could ask for more than that?

Oh yes and I also love feeling her bare butt backed up against mine at night. There's something VERY comforting in that. And I'm glad she likes my dimples too. I didn't even realize I HAD dimples until she pointed them out when we first met.

I guess the point of this post is this:

L-O-V-E

I am blessed to have someone who has shown me so much love.

Here's to you--my "HEART"...

If you ever choose to have a child of your own, I promise to love him/her with all of MY "heart"...