I haven't posted in a while and I have to admit that it's mainly because I've been having some "troubled" thoughts about certain parts of Heart and I's relationship lately that I did not want to make public. I needed some time to think on these things and to sort out some of my feelings. It's kind of tough to write a public blog yet keep all your personal thoughts private. So if I am "quiet" again in the future, you will know that I am just taking some time to think, reflect and try to work some things out within myself. And lately was definitely one of those times.
What follows are some of my thoughts on a very common problem in relationships. And that is, making time for each other. I cannot tell you how important that this is...
I called this post "Us" time because I find that Heart and I often say to each other, "I miss our "us" time". We both know what the other means when we say it, but to put it simply, it just means that we miss our time together to just BE together in peace and in love. Time to just sit on the couch and laugh, time to turn off the lights and dance or time to just snuggle up and hold each other tight. There's so much that makes up "us" time for Heart and myself.
Many times it's going to antique stores together. (thank God we have the same taste in vintage junk!) Sometimes it's watching old I Love Lucy reruns while cuddled up in bed or having a hot bath together and scrubbing the others backs. "Us" time can mean shopping together and finding something groovy or shopping together, buying nothing but laughing like we are still teenagers. "Us" time can be anything as long as it is truly time for US..without any distractions, any stress or any craziness. Sometimes these days, "us" time is hard to find.
Thankfully we have actually had some of it lately over the holidays.
How vital is it to spend time together and make your significant other important? I would say VERY important and it is something that you really can't put on the back burner for any length of time. Granted, life will intervene as it always does. Family, work, school, hobbies or any number of activities will steal your time. But the good thing is, we don't have to LET those things rule us and determine life for us. As my former father-in-law use to say (and he was RIGHT), "There is sense and reason (balance) in ALL things.."
I have to admit to you that Heart and I have had some problems this year finding time for that oh so important "us" time. I won't go into the reasons for that but there are several. I CAN tell you that it has caused some pretty bad feelings like resentment, sadness, anger and depression. It has caused a little bit of growing apart too, yet that feeling of longing to have the other person back again.
Now, please don't get me wrong. I do believe that every person should spend some time alone and that every couple deserves some time apart if they want it. (and most do) But it is all too easy to become so busy with life that you "forget" what's really important. Just as a plant has to be nourished with sun and water and food to grow; relationships have to be tended to in order for them to survive.
I'm happy to say that this holiday season that we have had some "us" time and that it was quite lovely. I can't think of a Christmas day in SEVERAL years that was as wonderful as the one we just spent together. We didn't go ANYWHERE, we stayed in our PJ's all day long and Christmas dinner was yummy yet simple. There is nothing sweeter than turning off all the lights and sitting together to just talk quietly and gaze at the Christmas tree. Arms around each other, hot chocolate in hand, that is what we did.
I tell you, it was a little slice of heaven.
But the key was, WE MADE THAT HEAVEN..
One thing I did for Heart this year was something I call "The 12 Days of Christmas", meaning that starting on the 13th of December, I gave "Heart" a very small gift every day up until Christmas day. I wrapped each gift and usually hid it somewhere so she could find it. She was delighted and said no one had ever done that for her before. In fact, she loved it so much that she wants to make it a yearly tradition.
Her gift on Christmas eve night was an hour long massage with oil. That my friends is "us" time too. Making time to make your significant other feel special. It's soooo important. Whether it's making your guy or gal's favorite meal or bringing him or her flowers, it is something that you just can't take for granted.
Right now, "Heart" is away seeing family in another state. But this holiday we had five glorious days together to do whatever we wanted. Those memories are carrying me through today and all the days that she is away; because you see, I know that she loves me..and made time for me.
We've had quite a few discussions about this subject lately and I'm looking forward to even more "us" time in the future. We both miss it, crave it and need it. Not to mention that we love it.
Friends, don't get so caught up in things that you forget the one that you picked as your soul mate and partner in life. Don't take them for granted because God forbid, they might not always be with you. Life is too short to waste on things that truly do not matter. And even if you have to give of your time for things that DO matter, don't forget the love of your life. They need you and you need them. Long after jobs, children and family are gone, they will remain..
There's so much that we can give to each other if we just MAKE THE TIME.
As the new year approaches, take some time to think about the one you love and to make them important again. Nourish your relationship and watch it grow. If you don't, you will certainly see it wilt and slowly die.
Turn off that TV or computer tonight and spend some time with your honey. You will be glad that you did.
Love each other. Isn't that what it's all about?
I thought so..
With love to you all,
True
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