Coming out late in life (CNN)

Coming out late in life complex but not unusual

By Elizabeth Landau, CNN

December 11, 2009 9:28 a.m. EST

Howard Selekman, 61, did not begin to embrace a gay identity until this year.

STORY HIGHLIGHTS

• It's not uncommon for people to embrace a different sexual identity later in life
• Expert: Women, more often than men, report having these awakenings later in life
• Most experts believe that people do not choose their sexual orientation

(CNN) -- Howard Selekman knew he had been attracted to men since he was 8, but in his 20s he still planned to marry a woman and have children with her. When he brought his fiancee to see his psychiatrist, the young woman was optimistic, even though she knew Selekman was gay.
"My wife-to-be said, 'I think love will overcome the obstacles,' " he said. "And I will never forget my psychiatrist saying, 'No, it will not overcome all of the obstacles.' "
The next 36 years would prove his psychiatrist right -- Selekman never overcame his feelings that indicated he was gay. This year, at age 61, he finally divulged his sexual identity to his brothers, and "went public" through sharing his story on CNN's iReport.
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