Johnny Cash

"See there's this place in me where your fingerprints still rest, your kisses still linger, and your whispers softly echo. It's the place where a part of you will forever be a part of me." --Gretchen Kemp

 

As I read this quote on Facebook this morning I couldn't help but be reminded of a book I just read recently. It is a book by Johnny Cash's first wife Vivian and it is called "I Walked The Line."  In case you don't know, Vivian was not only Johnny Cash's first wife but also mother to his four girls, Rosanne, Tara, Cindy and Kathy. This quote from Gretchen Kemp reminded me of the book because Vivian Cash evidently never got over her "Johnny" and he was with her until the day she died. Or he was in her heart anyway. No doubt, she was totally in love with him.

 

I have to say that reading this book completely changed my mind about a lot of things I had heard about Johnny Cash in the past, and his second wife June Carter as well. Vivian tells the story of a descent into hell via drugs and alcohol--something that he never wanted to enter he and Vivian's lives and relationship. In the book, Vivian gives you a rare glimpse into the man that was Johnny Cash BEFORE the fame entered the picture, via his own letters to her, written during the three years he was stationed in Germany. Through these letters, we see a very conservative man who wanted nothing more than to live "right" and raise a family--a big family with Vivian.

 

The book was interesting to me because I had of course seen the movie, "I Walk The Line" in which the viewer is led on a journey of Cash's life as he becomes famous. Little is shown of Vivian except during the time the marriage was coming apart. The movie tends to focus on the "love story" of Johnny and June Carter and how happy they were together. I have to admit that even watching the movie, I felt terrible for Vivian. Obviously the woman had gotten the dirty part of the deal. Left at home with small children to raise and a husband who was fast becoming addicted to "uppers" and "downers", she finally had no choice but to file for a divorce. Johnny Cash simply wasn't coming home--AND he was starting an open relationship with June Carter who would soon become his second wife. Where is the justice in that??

 

I'm guess I a tender heart for those women (or men) who have been "done wrong" in life by a partner or spouse. Maybe because I was one of those women several years ago. I too was left at home with small children to raise while my husband ran off and had his "breakdown"..and his fun..

Infidelity to me is one of the worst blows you can ever deliver to another human being and in Vivian's book, I hear her pain and feel her sorrow. It's hard to understand why someone can't be brave enough to just end a relationship or marriage if they feel that they cannot be faithful to the one who they love or the one who loves them. Why hide how you feel? Be honest--tell the person and move on. It's not easy but at least it's HONEST. I think everyone deserves that.

 

I guess the hard part for me is to see through Vivian's book how devoted she was to her "Johnny" and how much she truly loved him. He loved her too as evidenced by his letters. The man simply felt that he could not live without her. There was no trouble between them either--they had common views and goals and they were a very devoted couple. I know that Johnny Cash became a different man as his drug abuse increased and as another woman entered the picture. Interestingly enough, Vivian's book points out that June Carter had her own drug problem. That's something that doesn't come out too often.

 

Of course Vivan's book is just that--it is HER side of the story and I realize that there are always two sides. Still, if you read the letters and hear what she has to say, she makes a pretty convincing case that the Johnny she knew was not the Johnny that he became.

 

People, let this be a lesson to us all. Love the person you are with. Don't let drugs,alcohol or another person take you away from someone you truly care about. Sure we all have problems but they can often be resolved with counseling or even by talking. (NOT fighting!) Now,I agree--some things CANNOT be fixed but if they truly cannot be, please be honest with the person who may be at home with no clue as to what you are feeling. Smaller, every day problems can be made worse too by things that we can absolutely control. No one makes another person take that first drug or have that first drink. And no one makes another seek the company of someone else when their husband or wife is waiting at home.

 

We all impact each others lives and I think this quote from Gretchen Kemp says it all. For Vivian who never fell out of love with her Johnny, there will always be a part of him in her and I'm sure, a part of her in him.

In Vivian's honor today, I am changing part of a post I made when I first started this blog. It is the post titled,"Are people born gay?" (July 2009). In it, I mention Johnny Cash and June Carter and their love. I have changed that to Johnny Cash and his wife Vivan. Read the letters and the book. That was a REAL love story. 

 

Now go out and embrace your own!

True

 

And the fight continues..

Sometimes change comes slowly..but it WILL come..

Groundbreaking gay marriage trial starts in California-AP

By LISA LEFF, Associated Press Writer Lisa Leff, Associated Press Writer – Mon Jan 11, 7:24 am ET

SAN FRANCISCO – The first federal trial to determine if the U.S. Constitution prohibits states from outlawing same-sex marriage gets under way Monday, and the two gay couples on whose behalf the case was brought will be among the first witnesses.
The proceedings, which are expected to last two to three weeks, involve a challenge to Proposition 8, the gay marriage ban approved by California voters in November 2008.
Read the rest of the story 

Uno

I'm thinking about Uno today. No, not the card game, but the Uno that sits on a shelf in our spare bedroom most of the time. There is a REAL Uno who is a beagle but MY Uno is only a small stuffed dog. The real Uno took 1st place at the Westminster dog show in February of 2008. Theresa and I happened to watching that day and were talking about this little dog's spirit. Most dogs in the show are
groomed to perfection but bear no resemblance to the pets we live with every day. In them, there always seems to be something missing. It wasn't missing in Uno though and he was the most perfect beagle. And not just physically either, but in personality too. He was a merry little dog and didn't think twice about giving the judge a big "A-rooooooo.." while jogging around the ring.  We were delighted when Uno won and realize that he was the first of his breed ever to win this prestigious title.

About a month later. "Heart" was on one of her many "business" trips. Very sweetly,  she always brings me a gift from almost everywhere she goes. I cannot remember exactly where she was at this time but when she opened her bag after the trip, she told me to hold out my hands and close my eyes (as she always does) and there was Uno. Not the real Uno of course but a cute sutffed mini version.

I loved it that she got this dog for me because I happen to adore hound dogs and have two stuffed mini bassets already. One is from my childhood and the other from my young adulthood, but at any rate, Uno fit right in. Yes, I did name him Uno interestingly enough. Honestly my bassets have no names at all. They are just "Hush Puppies"

I am thinking of my Uno today because he is on a trip right now but happily, on his way back. You see, before Uno was around, Heart and I started a tradition of always sending something with the other when we traveled. Usually it was a small stuffed toy or item. Just something to remind the other that they were loved and that home was not that far away no matter how you felt.

So it was very natural that Uno became "Heart's" traveling companion whenever she was away. Of course, he was (and is) always sprayed with my perfume (Warm Vanilla Sugar) and put secretly into her suitcase. She knows he's gonna be there but it's fun for her to find him.  It's just one of those things that we do to say "I Love You" and that "I'm with you." even when the other has to be away.

So yes, I am thinking about Uno today because he is coming home. "Heart" has been on a trip over the holidays to see her family and today she and Uno are heading back. I always feel good knowing  that happy little dog is with her. He may not be real but he stand for so much or in our hearts anyway.

If you would like to check out a story of the REAL Uno, you can HERE.

And here is our Uno...soon he'll be back with his basset friends again.. :)

Have a happy day!
True